I need to be thinner and prettier and nicer and less depressed because I suck
internetexplorers: we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first
run-cause-hitler: enayalate-h8-this-year: bbanditt: slett: winchestercodependency: ibecameacat: what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off “People with vaginas” what are those called again I can’t remember this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
h0odrich: It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth
basedgodniall: I LITERALLY DO 8 SECONDS OF WORK THEN REWARD MYSELF WITH 40 MINUTES OF TUMBLR LIKE CAN I STOP DOING THAT
irresponsibleeyouth: The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
googlehomo: I only wanna be hot so I can be rude and antisocial and mysterious and get away with it
tempoes: everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold
I had a better social life when I was like 8 years old than I do now.
iwilleatyourenglish: iwilleatyourenglish: once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the...
bnagbros: a-very-weird-and-clever-boy: bnagbros: Yahoo spent $1.1 billion on porn Still cheaper than most porn wtf kind of porn do you watch
tushi: why is the news breaking. who broke it. how much are repairs
We are dying from overthinking. We are slowly killing ourselves by thinking...– Anthony Hopkins (via e-d-g-e-s)
passion: how to have a flat stomach remove all of your organs
vvant: advice for having the best life ever: dont have a crush